I agree with Transmission....FEAR and the adult learning factor!
I quit at 15, although I was no-where near your level- I maxed out with a consistent axel and inconsistent 2Sal.
Seven years ago I came back after 35 years off. I started off trying some of the skates the club has as loaners- Good condition, entry level Jacksons with MarkIV blades. I felt like an absolute beginner who'd never set foot on the ice. It was very uncomfortable and a bad surprise. So, I dug out my old know-all-the-steps skates from the 80's that made my feet bleed and whose blades had no more rocker. It was much, much better. If you went the cheap, entry-level route with your new skates, do you think something similar could be at play with you?
I could not stick with my old skates due to the pain and blood. So I did quickly get new skates and blades. Set me back €500, but totally worth it. I'm in a dance only club, so we don't jump, but you know I tried when the coaches weren't looking. Jumps were heavy and clumsy, but I did have most of them. Equipment can make a huge difference.......
Incidentally deep edges are still scary, especially the inside ones, and especially at the speed one needs to actually do them. Its 90% in my head, 10% strength issues. Padded shorts might be your friend if it will help mentally